Lost keys. Deadlines missed. Dishes piled high in the sink. These are but a few of the consequences many of us face when chaos starts creeping into our lives. There's a way to restore order; but you have to be willing to stop being disorganized.
To find out more about disorganization in daily life, Together recently spoke with Andrew J. Mellen, author of the upcoming book "Unstuff Your Life!" and founder of Virgo Man, a professional organizing service with clients throughout the U.S. We asked about the negative impact of disorganization and how a person can get their life back with a few simple adjustments.
In your experience as a professional organizer, is there a common theme for those of us who may suffer from the inability to organize our lives and the things around us? How does disorganization manifest itself?
I think it's hard enough to be productive when you're organized, so those same challenges are only amplified when you're disorganized. You have to compensate an awful lot, and all those lost minutes looking for things, for example, have a cost attached. There are plenty of disorganized people who can maintain a level of basic functionality in the world and prevent any great tragedies or complications from occurring, but they're still plagued by inefficiency. And whether that just means you're eating dinner at nine o'clock every night instead of at seven, when you really want to be eating at seven, there are real, tangible consequences to disorganization. In this case, you're going to be hungry and cranky and up an extra couple of hours because you couldn't get it together to have dinner at the right time.
Beyond such simple aggravations as lost keys and misplaced telephone numbers, how can disorganization and clutter negatively impact a person's life?
Time loss, chronic tardiness, missed deadlines, late charges, over limit charges, foreclosures, health hazards, divorce … all of these are potential consequences of disorganization. If a person never puts their keys in the same place, or constantly misplaces their mobile phone, and they're always ten minutes late, they're probably not going to lose their homes. They're just going to annoy their friends, or their bosses, or their clients. But when you take that and ratchet it up a few notches, there's greater fallout. When the only person you're affecting is yourself, there's a high threshold for self-negotiation, forgiveness, and allowance; when it starts to impact others, there's feedback and consequences you have to deal with. And, when it comes to paper and money, there are a whole series of consequences specific to that — financial institutions are happy to express their disapproval with late charges, over limit charges, and such. And if you're a person who is so overwhelmed by paper that you're shoving your mail into a folder somewhere or a shoe box under the bed unopened, eventually your power company will cut you off; the phone will go dead. Or the bank, if it can't reach you, may start foreclosure proceedings against you.
Why do people so often resist order, getting buried in the disorganization of their lives?
I think people fear that they are going to have to do more than they are already doing. And that fear looks and sounds like, ‘I'm already this desperate and overwhelmed, I can't possibly take on anything more.' Which is, sadly, completely backwards. But that is the fear. The irony is that being organized actually means doing less. Of course, some people suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or some other neurotic condition that makes it difficult for them to focus long enough to complete a task. That's more a biological obstacle that is not specific to organization but to all attempts to stay focused and remain present. Then there's other psychologi- cal resistance, like the pouty adolescent manifestation of ‘You're not the boss of me. I'm the ruler of my own life. If I don't want to clean up my room, I don't have to.' Which is completely self-destructive.
So, what can people do to get organized?
Live slower. Which requires just enough quiet to recognize that moving faster doesn't solve the problem and that trying to do more, quickly, is not the answer to being disorganized. Be gentle. As you build new habits, accept that there will be a learning curve. Just as you can't drop fifty pounds in two days, you're not suddenly going to transform your life in an afternoon. You can make a huge impact, but everything won't be perfect in a day. So, having some acceptance around that and moving more deliberately and slowly is critical. Do not multitask. Also recognize that tasks have beginnings and ends. Don't initiate something that you're not prepared to finish – which isn't to say don't start it, just don't start it if you don't have time to finish it, so you don't leave things half done. It's also good to assign everything one home — find that home for whatever it is and return things to it. That way you will never misplace anything again. Don't have several homes for one thing and don't just lay things down on the counter as you're walking past. If you return things to where they came from, they will always be there when you need them the next time.
What kind of benefits can a person expect from getting organized?
Besides getting your life back? Peace of mind. And health. There's a psychological and a physiological benefit when your adrenal system is not cranking all the time like it does when you are constantly in crisis, running around, late and in a panic. Your body is going to be much happier not to be in a state of fight-or-flight. And, spiritually, at the end of the day, you can rest without all of the pending uncertainties swirling around your mind. Life has enough organic loose ends — like when somebody doesn't return your call, there is still an unfinished conversation out there, but that's different than going to bed still not knowing where the insurance papers are.
How do you feel your book will help those who are struggling with organization to remain focused and productive?
The book is a how-to book, laying out a step-by-step process to help people organize their lives and their thoughts and their feelings, particularly as they relate to stuff. There are tips and techniques on how to deal with stuff so you can quiet the swirling thoughts, the anxieties and the expectations that accrue on a regular basis. And instructions on managing stuff so new chaos won‘t occur. You'll learn the difference between responding and reacting, and how getting organized can diminish the obstacles you may face on the road to emotional, physical, and spiritual optimization. So you can live a life you desire instead of a life you feel trapped in. If you can sit still – even for thirty seconds or a minute — and be mindful of the present moment, you can create a new foundation for whatever is next.
Andrew J. Mellen’s book Unstuff Your Life will be published in August 2010.
