Buried in that stack of college acceptance letters that sobriety helped to secure for recovering teenagers is a ticking bomb: the threat of relapse. In college, sober teenagers must confront a culture of bacchanalian excess, where “normal” drinkers and drug users might plunge into wild boozing, using, and abusing with little understanding that for recovering people such behavior is a death trap.
But what if there were sober enclaves on campus, where recovery-minded students could shelter from the hurricane of alcohol-drenched partying?
In fact, as more recovering freshmen enter the groves of academe, the demand has risen for an alternative to the temptations of the chug-a-lug, animal-house-style residences on campus. Sober dorms are the answer, and not just for recovering addicts in 12-step programs. They also house students who choose to live without drugs and alcohol for reasons of culture, religion, or common sense; or anyone who just wants an education, without the drama of rampaging roomies reeling in at dawn, or more dangerous conduct that could bring cops to the door.
OMG, My Roommate’s a Freak
When the fat acceptance envelopes and the tissue-thin rejection letters begin to arrive, very few 18-year-olds will weigh which college will best serve their sanity, especially if they get into one of the superstar schools whose name will dazzle employers and impress dates. Although Brown University established the first sober program in 1977 (serving students and staff), it was not residential. But as the trend continued, more colleges saw the wisdom of offering “wellness” or “Substance-Free” (sub-free) housing to its students.
According to Andy Finch of the Association of Recovery Schools, “Unlike the high schools, college programs are not school-wide, and their structures can vary widely depending upon the institution,…the private or public funding of the school, and the size of the college or university. For this reason, most college programs are vastly different from each other. Some programs offer housing services, while others do not.”
The inevitability of eating, sleeping and partying with a wide variety of people raise questions that will confound even the most self-aware incoming freshmen. But, the clean and sober student will probably need to add one more inquiry: How do I avoid temptation and the typically dysfunctional people who supply it?
Many schools now offer identity-based housing such as women only, men of color, LBGT, Latino, sub-free, and so forth. Living among your own people can make you feel safe during the alternating jitters and joys of transition to independent, vulnerable living.
Designated housing requires residents to sign a contract agreeing to the terms for living there. A sub-free contract usually commits you to abstinence from drugs and alcohol – at least within the sub-free residence. And, that’s where any good adolescent may fiddle with the formula.
The Right to Paarrr-Tay
Drugs, pot and booze, along with their users’ rationalizations, make the sub-free designation a moving target. House staff often hear from students who thought they signed up to live where they would never have to deal with inebriated house mates, only to be rudely awakened at 4 a.m. by a fellow “sub-free” tenant vomiting in the shared sink. The offender’s rationalization? She didn’t actually do the drinking or drugging within the limits of the sub-free hall. She partied next door, where residents are cool with her getting wasted, but prefer she puke at home.
Outside of locking people in sober dorms at night and shadowing them all day, complete safety from drugs and alcohol can never be guaranteed. The best bet for students in 12-step recovery to avoid relapse or housemate homicide is always a meeting.
Don’t Drink, Start a Meeting
12-step fellowship is available on many campuses. Lucky schools have vital, committed recovery groups of some kind, although many smaller campuses do not have solid AA or NA fellowships because students are by definition transient. Peer anxiety and lack of anonymity may dissuade students from a deliberate, public attempt at self-help. But if you’re a strong and motivated sober person, you can do some service that can save your skin.
Call the local intergroup office (usually listed in the phone book under “AA”), get a group starter kit, reserve a private space on campus and schedule a regular meeting. It takes only two of you to form a group. If no one shows up for the first or even the fifth meeting, remember the Alaskan who, sick of driving two hours to the closest 12-step meeting, founded one nearby. After a year of Tuesday nights, setting up and waiting for no shows, another recovery seeker finally joined her. Amazed by her patience, the newcomer asked, “Why’d you keep coming?” She answered, “Because I stayed sober.”
Nikki Jaeger (not her real name) is a director of student housing at a small college in New England. She has been sober since 1989 and is an enthusiastic supporter of Sub A housing.
ETC.
*To see what you can do to help get New York’s Sober High School off the ground, go to www.foseny.org.
*The Friends of Sober Education were guided in their quest by The Association of Recovery Schools: see web site www.recoveryschools.org and the book “How to Start a Recovery School,” by Andy Finch.
*There is no one source presently for finding colleges with Wellness or Sub A Housing (sober dorms) but at www.no-smoke.org you’ll find a list of close to 400 universities and colleges in the U.S. that offer no-smoking dorms, which may also be no-alcohol dorms. Individual schools’ web sites detail their residential options; the likelihood of sober living quarters on campus is growing every year.
