By David J. Powell, PhD

When looking at recovery, we often focus a lot of attention on the first thirty, sixty, and ninety days, as well as the first full year’s journey in sobriety. Rarely, however, do we talk about what’s down the road once we’ve put down our addiction for a while. Yet, recovery is a process, not an event; a continuum of ever-deepening circles of discovery with distinct stages that most people pass through, regardless of their chronological age.

Typically, the stages of recovery are:
1.    Awareness and early acknowledgement: of how our lives have been affected by the disease. These are the “aha!” moments, usually preceded by discovery about the disease.
2.    Consideration and incubation: where we look inward at ourselves and take a fearless inventory of our lives. These are the “oh, so that’s what that’s about” moments.
3.    Early activities: this can involve active involvement in a 12-step program. Often it seems there are more questions raised than we yet have answers for. In fact, the older we get in recovery, the less we seem to know.
4.    Re-habituation: where we re-look at our values and learn new habits of living.
5.    Active recovery and maintenance.

These stages of recovery, though, also mirror our stage of life, our age. At each age and each stage of recovery we encounter new opportunities and challenges.

EARLY STAGES OF LIFE & RECOVERY
Some people recover early in life. With that, they often have to face the promises or disappointments related to their youth, which involve the need for finding employment, choosing a vocation, being a success in life as they struggle with recovery. While finding how to live clean and sober, young adults also have to ask questions such as  “Who am I to be? What am I to do with my life? How do I learn to be intimate with people? How do I take responsibility for my life?”  So, while trying to find out what recovery means, they also seek to find out who am I to be, how am I to support myself and live.

MID-LIFE
Mid-life is often when we face an inner loss of meaning and purpose, a time when we are confronted by our limits – you can’t have it all. Whereas learning to let go is an essential part of recovery for everyone, it is especially an issue in mid-life when you are learning you can’t necessarily do what you once were able to do. Recovery and mid-life mean letting go of the visions of what you thought life would be. Recovery in mid-life also means letting go of the old self, finding your true passion in life, and discovering a true sense of self – not what others wanted you to be, but what you were created to be. The steps that address acceptance are especially important in mid-life, realizing you are not in control, trusting, surrendering, embracing your shadow, and being forgiven.

Recovery in mid-life also often involves making peace with our parents, learning to live with our children (if there are any in the picture), how we deal with money, our emotions, our sexual lives, and our developing spiritual lives. Although these are issues for people in recovery at any age, they are acutely important in mid-life.

THE SPIRITUAL JOURNEY
As we age, somewhere around our 40s or 50s, the spiritual journey becomes important as we move into different questions. In the first half of life and recovery we ask: “how am I to live clean and sober.” In life’s second half and later on in recovery we ask: “why?” If a person is in life’s second half and in recovery, they face these issues:

1.    That life is a journey of transformation, moving from success to significance. If we do not transform our pain, we transmit it.
2.    Finding new meaning and purpose. Recovery is about looking deeply at ourselves. Who am I? What is life about? Is this all there is?

An attitude of gratitude is especially important in life’s second half in recovery, for at this age, you likely have much for which to be grateful. Also, after 40 it does little good to look back with regrets on our past. By now, we’ve accumulated a lot of regrets. It helps to begin each day with an attitude of gratitude.

David J. Powell, PhD, is President of the International Center for Health Concerns, Inc. In this role he trains addiction professionals worldwide. He has been in the alcohol and drug abuse field for 45 years. For more comments and reflections, contact David Powell at djpowell2@yahoo.com.